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Just for Fun
Fun Poetry and Lyrics

Mother Doesn't Want a Dog
by Judith Viorst (Sent by
Debbie Gal 05/15/99)

    Mother doesn't want a dog.
    Mother says they smell.
    And never sit when you say sit.
    Or even when you yell.

    And when you come home late at night
    And there is ice and snow,
    You have to go back out because
    The dog says he has to go.

    Mother doesn't want a dog.
    Mother says they shed.
    And always let the strangers in
    And bark at friends instead.

    An do disgraceful things on rugs.
    And track mud on the floor.
    And flop upon your bed at night.
    And snore their doggy snore.

    Mother doesn't want a dog.
    She's making a mistake.
    Because, more than a dog, I think
    She will not want this snake!

Would you like to illustrate this poem? Please send us scans of your original artwork!

English: a Dreadful Language
Author Unknown (Sent by
Debbie Gal 05/15/99)

    We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes;
    But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.

    Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese ...
    Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

    You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
    But the plural of house is houses, not hice.

    If the plural of man is always called men,
    When couldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

    The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
    But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.

    And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
    But I give a boot ... would a pair be called beet?

    If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
    Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

    If the singular is this and plural is these,
    Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?

    Then one may be that, and three may be those,
    Yet the plural of hat would never be hose;

    We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
    But though we say mother, we never say methren.

    The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
    But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim!

    So our English, I think you will all agree,
    Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

    I take it you already know
    Of tough and bough and cough and dough?

    Others may stumble, but not you
    On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through?

    Well done! And now you wish, perhaps
    To learn of less familiar traps?

    Beware of heard, a dreadful word
    That looks like beard and sounds like bird.

    And dead; it's said like bed, not bead;
    For goodness sake, don't call it deed!

    Watch out for meat and great and threat,
    (they rhyme with suite and straight and debt)

    A moth is not a moth in mother.
    Nor both in bother, broth in brother.

    And here is not a match for there.
    And dear and fear for bear and pear.

    And then there's dose and rose and lose-
    Just look them up-and goose and choose.

    And cork and work and card and ward,
    And font and front and word and sword.

    And do and go, then thwart and cart.
    Come, come, I've hardly made a start.

    A dreadful language? Man alive,
    I'd learned to speak it when I was five,

    And yet to write it, the more I sigh ...

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Last Modified:
Source: sent by Debbie Gal (05/17/99)
URLID: 1358

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